American Idol!

I was debating for awhile if I really wanted to write about this. Obviously, I decided I should, maybe someone can learn from my crazy story.

To start this adventure off I have to go back a month before it actually happened. I had just had surgery. I know, another one. Such great luck I have!! All I can say is Gal bladders...suck. Anyway, it seems as though when I get really sick, which does happen, I discover something I need to do with my life. For example- Appendix out was the kicker to graduate early, Meningitis number one- I decided to go to hair school, Tearing the meniscus in my knee- the finisher to a relationship, Meningitis number two- worked my butt off to sell enough retail to earn a trip to a hair show in Vegas..... Gal bladder....American Idol.

I was in Blackfoot recovering from my wonderful surgery when my friend called and asked if I'd heard the new Kris Allen song. I listened to it and fell in love! It's so amazing! For some crazy reason Kris Allen makes me think of American Idol. Weird, I know. I found myself looking on the American Idol website to see if they were coming to Salt Lake City again. With the awesome luck I have, they weren't. The closet place I could go was Denver, Colorado! I decided to go. In two seconds I had made up my mind. I called my mom and she was ecstatic! She wanted to take me and be by my side the whole way! Everything just fell into place.

We left for Denver on the 11th of July. Can I just say Wyoming is the most boring state to drive through in the planet!! Anyway, 12 long hours later, we were there! My mom and I were so extremely tired and had to get up at 4 in the AM the next morning to start standing in line. I only had to register the first day, no singing at all, but the place was PACKED!! We got there before the line even started and we still ended up freaking far back. We sat, and waited, and waited a lot longer, my mom even had time to take a pretty long nap. 5 hours later.... I registered. They told me what time I had to be back for auditions, gave me a song to learn that I would have to sing in a group, and gave me a beautiful orange wristband so they knew I was legit on audition day.

After registration we had a couple days to chill in Denver, see the sights, and sleep. My mom took me to the worlds largest flea market. Wow. Different breed of people at those things. It was so fun, just crazy! I got some sweet jewelry and my mom and I giggled at all the people. Our hotel was in the middle of downtown so we were really close to a lot of shopping places, and who could forget being able to see Coors Stadium from our hotel room! Go Rockies! It was so much fun just being able to be with my mom. I had so much fun!

Audition day finally rolled around and surprisingly I wasn't nervous at all. We woke up at 3:30... stood in line again until about 8 and then we were in Invesco Stadium sitting in the stands...waiting for our chance to prove what we had. They explained how everything was going to work. There were 12 tents. Each tent would have 2-3 producers, 4 people would be assigned to a tent. They didn't want you to introduce yourself, or say what your song was, they didn't want you to talk at all. They would tell you to step forward, you would sing, they would tell you to stop and you would step back and the next person would step forward. Then when you all were done they would talk it over and tell you if anyone was going to the next round. Out of the 3000 people there only 300 would make it on. Kinda nerve racking.

After waiting for a couple hours it was finally my turn! They gave my group a tent number, and we all went to give it all we had. There was still a group in front of us that hadn't finished singing when we got there. The people were SO good, but no one got a ticket. No one. It was finally my groups turn and we all stepped forward. I made eye contact with the producer and she smiled. It was then I had this overwhelming feeling that if I sang the song I had planned on singing, I would make it, and I would make it far. I have never had such an overwhelming feeling in my life. I was ecstatic, then I looked at the producer again. She waved me forward and in a split second I knew, that I could make it, but I wasn't suppose to be there. I knew there were things in my life, big things, I had to do and this wasn't it. The Lord had a different plan for me. But he gave me the choice.

I blew the audition. I sang a different song, I made sure it was pitchy, it wasn't anything amazing at all. Then I stepped back. The producers talked and after a long pause they told us no one in our group would be getting a ticket. Everyone was devastated, but me. I was so happy but I didn't understand why. I had just thrown away the biggest dream I have ever had for my life. It was so close and I blew it, but I was totally ok with it. On my way out the producer grabbed my arm and told me to please come back next year, but it wasn't even important to me anymore.

I got back to my mom and she gave me a hug, expecting me to be upset. She told me we would for sure try again next year... The hardest part of the whole thing was telling my mom. I knew she would be so supportive, but I didn't want to let her down. I told her what happened and with tears in her eyes she gave me a hug, and told me she had never been prouder. Everything was worth it.

I still don't know what is so important in my life that I have to do. I often wish I could go back and do it right. Then I realize around the corner there is something better, I just have to wait. I've decided it's really easy to say choose the right, and do the right thing when it's blatantly obvious what the right choice is. It's hard when the right choice isn't at all what you want. It can be hard to live with that choice. I'm so glad I went and did what I did. I learned so much. I'm so much more today than I was yesterday, and tomorrow I'll be more than I am...but there is so much more God needs me to become :)